Tag Archives: Unemployment

Secui XIII. The economy is on the way up, or was it down? They’re so much alike you know

Well, been busy but not much to show for it. Several job applications have gone suspiciously quiet for over a month – some of them have the cheek to say that if you don’t hear anything for a certain period then consider yourself  ‘unsuccessful’, a euphemism for unappreciated and unloved. In these days of email, how hard is it to compose a list of emails and send a bulk one (with bcc’d addresses of course) out to all the weepers and gnashers of teeth? For Christ’s sake give me a contract to do it and I’ll do if for you, you lazy bastards!

I got a definite knockback for a lower level job from my old employer. I could do the job, as it is directly related to my old job, but they had 180 applicants and interviewed 8 who had done the exact job before (all this for one definite job and maybe two more later). We keep hearing the economy is mending but that doesn’t sound too promising to me – perhaps it’s mending from a heart transplant, so it’s technically alive but still a trifle seedy. God help us if China really does have a double-dip recession.

I have made an observation about economics; I don’t know more than the very basics but a lot of people either in charge or making pronouncements in public either know even less than me or are lying more outrageously than I ever thought possible. When the economy was booming along, it was all “this is the best it’s ever been and there is no end in sight, property prices are booming and blah blah roses, wealth, early retirement”. Then suddenly it went to shit and we find that all the King’s horses and all the King’s men had no bloody idea what was going on and Humpty Dumpty fell off and broke while they were all scratching their arses and congratulating themselves on their wisdom. Even I had thought this can’t last for ever, and I don’t see any offers for me as Treasurer.

Things are such that I’ve even applied for a job in Afghanistan, it’s only for 2 months so what could go wrong? So if the blog goes permanently quiet, look for me on TV for my 15 minutes of fame.

On a more positive note, my wife has finally applied for a job pool she has been waiting to reopen for the last 18 months. When the global financial crisis hit they stopped running this pool every six months (as they had previously been doing) and just shut up shop. Now fingers crossed again.


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Secui XII. Agricultural research in crisis! Sky falling! Waters rising!

Look, look, an official crisis in agricultural research in Australia, who would’ve thought? (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/03/31/2860908.htm)

It’s simple really; try letting people stay in a job securely for longer than three years! Doesn’t require much education to answer that problem. Eventually people wake up and see that their job prospects are insecure and leave.

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Part, the eleventh. In which I get tired of part whatever and switch to Latin…secui XI

Well, one job application should give me an answer early next week. Will I get an interview? Will Batman escape? Tune in next week and find out.

Looks like the job I applied for in Switzerland won’t pan out as they want someone who already has a work permit, as they want them to start ASAP and they said that rules me out. The choices are narrowing but chin up etc.

I did lodge an application for the job in Samoa, just before the closing date. Now this I could live with, but I think I raved about that earlier, so I won’t bore you again.

Just in time to cheer me up P.Z. Myers used a photo I took of an armoured ground cricket in Botswana for his Mary’s Monday Metazoan (http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/03/marys_monday_metazoan_armored.php); who needs a job anyway! Fame at last! If this cricket wasn’t so fucking ugly I could kiss him/her/whatever.


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Part, the tenth. In which we get positive…no, negative…no, positive…news.

My wife got an interview. Yay! Then not so yay. They got confused between two applications and interviewed her for the wrong job, which didn’t help us a lot.

I got a reply from a job in Zurich that I enquired about and which had closed before I heard about it. They got back to me to get me to lodge an application as it has been declared open again. Now I wait with bated breath and the tension increases daily, nay hourly.

Got rejected for the Seychelles job, apparently they found someone local and are not proceeding with overseas applicants…sob…I can’t pretend I wouldn’t have liked that job.

However, on a brighter note I became secretary of the local society of editors. Now I can dream of my ascent to world domination. First a swift attack on Poland, through the Low Countries and then Paris…what could stop me?

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Part, the eighth. In which I sleep in on a Monday morning.

Aaah, Monday morning and I don’t even have to get out of bed… if I feel so inclined. I think I will though, it just doesn’t feel right snoozing while most good people are slaving away. So all of you who are filled with envy can allow your blood to go off the boil.

I might just start to write up some old data now that I have time. Who said unemployment sucked?

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Part, the seventh. In which all is quiet on the Western Front. Hang on, that all ended badly didn’t it?

Nothing to report. No rejections – no acceptances.

I think I know how this works: I am in employment Purgatory, whence (after appropriate levels of pain and torture, designed to purify my imperfect employee soul) I will eventually be allowed to ascend to the light and perfect peace of Paradise. There I shall fan the face of Ergos – the god of full employment – eat dates and sing his praises for all eternity. Bliss. It’s bringing tears to my eyes.

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Part, the sixth. In which I am deeply wounded.

I got my first rejection today, sniff. Those bastards at Thomson-Reuters wouldn’t know if their arse was on fire – no, they would – they just couldn’t find the seat of the fire. HO HO. Now I feel much better. Here is the only remotely related photo I could find representing the arse of Thomson-Reuters (this is of course loaded with symbolism, if you have any idea what it is then drop me a line and let me know too)…

Arse on fire

Now I shall take my injured pride and go back to my applications, and Judge Judy of course.

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